FOMO, or "Fear of Missing Out," is a feeling that has become increasingly common among young people today. While it began as informal slang, it was recently added to the Oxford Dictionary, a testament to its prevalence in modern life.
FOMO (noun)
BrE /ˈfəʊməʊ/; NAmE /ˈfoʊmoʊ/
Fear of missing out — a feeling of worry that an exciting or interesting event is happening elsewhere.
Example: We all live Internet lives, and when we see others having more fun than us, we experience anxiety and FOMO.
I’m a 30-year-old Indian, married for 5 years, living and working in Singapore. I have a good job, earn a comfortable income, and enjoy a lifestyle that many can only dream of. Yet, I often find myself struggling with restless nights filled with regret. Every time I open social media—whether it’s Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, or even LinkedIn—I feel a sense of inadequacy. So much so that, for the past year, I’ve uninstalled all social media apps from my phone. It felt like a necessary escape.
You may wonder why I felt this way. Let me explain.
I tend to be someone who’s either regretting my past or worrying about my future. A few months ago, I saw a Facebook post from a schoolmate who had bought a sea-facing apartment in Mumbai. The next day, someone posted about having a destination wedding in Bali. These glimpses into other people’s lives pulled me right back into the cycle of regret.
Why didn’t I work harder in school and get into an IIT or IIM so I could afford a luxury apartment like that? Why didn’t I manage my finances better, so my wedding could have been grander?
At the same time, I see people older than me who have achieved things I’m still striving for: citizenship or PR in countries like the US or the UK, or those who have made significant wealth and are living comfortably in India. I often start to doubt myself, wondering if I’ll ever achieve what they have. These thoughts pull me into a spiral of self-doubt and depression.
But what I often forget is that millions of people around the world are facing far worse situations. There are people with terminal diseases who may not survive the week, workers who have to work through the holidays, and those who are incarcerated and unable to see their loved ones for years. When I put my life in perspective like that, I realise I have so much to be grateful for.
This sense of worthlessness is something many young people feel today. We are so consumed by comparing ourselves to others that we fail to appreciate what we have in the present. So, how can we break free from this cycle of self-harm?
The first step is to accept the present. Instead of yearning for something you don’t have, make the most of what you do. If today you have only a lemon, don’t cry about your friend’s strawberries. Instead, squeeze the lemon, add some sugar, soda, and mint leaves, and turn it into something refreshing. If you spend too much time wishing for the strawberries, the lemon will spoil, and you'll lose that too.
Another key is to "learn to learn." Every day presents an opportunity to learn something new. Learn how to acquire skills efficiently and put them into practice. Rather than isolating yourself from social media, engage with your successful friends. Learn from them—how did they reach where they are? Can you apply something from their journey to your own life?
Finally, learn to appreciate the people who care about you. I used to admire the smart, independent, and hardworking women at work, but I rarely took the time to appreciate my wife, who works tirelessly to improve my day. She may not have the same career achievements as others, but her love and dedication are unmatched. She pulls me out of my darkest moments and keeps me grounded. She deserves to be thanked and valued.
As an software engineer, I once thought I was unlucky because I hadn’t settled abroad like many of my older colleagues. With stricter immigration processes, I feared I’d missed the boat and that PR or citizenship in a developed country was out of reach. But there’s no use crying over the past. That opportunity is gone, and those who seized it made their fortune. But new doors are opening, and the future is still full of possibilities.
Though living conditions in India aren’t perfect, the pace of growth in the tech sector is astonishing. Skilled software developers are making significant money — enough to mitigate the struggles of bad roads, traffic, and pollution. There’s a solution to every problem if you have the resources to address it. The information age has made global opportunities accessible, and I am in a prime position to take advantage of them.
I didn’t miss the boat; I’m preparing to board the next one. The moment is now, and it’s always now or never. You either seize the opportunities in front of you, or you let them slip away and regret it later.
Social media often presents a skewed version of reality — only showcasing happy moments. Limiting your use to a few minutes a day to stay updated can help, but it’s even more important to engage with the real world. Meet new people, form deeper connections, and understand that everyone has their own struggles. Even the person with the sea-facing apartment is dealing with something behind the scenes.